What will you do when you catch your boys reading porn online/offline?
My kids are both in grade school but like all kids nowadays, they are very much internet-savvy. Pop-ups promoting sex and porn are jut about everywhere in the net. Access to smut magazines is a bit remote in my case but who knows? Boys can be creative.
Now, my question is, how would you react when you catch them red-handed?
I think parental guidance are very important to this issues. In this computer age, we can't avoid that kids could be exposed to such things. The parents should let their kids be aware of these stuffs and explain to them what would be the effects if they will emulate such things early on. Guidance is very important here, befriend your kids, know everything about them... know their friends, know their interest, encourage and influence them to be an expert on their field of interest so that they will not be tempted to try sinful acts.
I think one good way of managing this situation is by talking honestly to your kids. This will be a bit uncomfortable on the part of the parents but let's face it, there will come a time when we have to have the "birds and the bees" talk with the kids. Now one observation that i have with Filipino parents is that, compared to Western country folks, we are still very conservative when it comes to these sensitive topics. Some families would still consider it a taboo. This, I think, might even cause more curiosity and restlessness in the child which might lead to unfavorable consequences. So one advice that I give, is to be honest with your kids but at the same time point out to them their responsibility. For teenage boys, let them know that you trust them to make the right decisions.
Hi there Rose
When I saw your forum topic What. do you do when you catch your boys reading porn online/offline? Well my reaction would be to ensure it was not of a depraved, sadistic or paedophilic nature. Even if you are prudish about the subject, I would talk to them about it and about what is considered normal and natural between man and woman and what is acceptable in society. I would not condemn them; after all they are only following there God given urges and their natural curiosity. Any reading is better than no reading and boys do seem to be attracted to what some would conceder gross. Of course control what they have access to, there are a lot of sick people using the internet now, but don’t give them a phobia about it. There is nothing wrong with sex or the naked body, just what some people do with it
Keithatela
Regarding Rose's post, I think it is better not to scold the children. Instead, Parents can talk to them regarding the negative effect of Porn. Most children are attracted towards Porn believing it to be real. If we can awake our children to this fact, I think we can expect children turn their face away when they sow porn.
It is very important from the Parent's part that tey don't treat this as a gravious mistake which can actually have a negative impact in the children's mind.
Boys in this period are very sensitive about this kind of things so we have to be very careful in solving this (after or before). You can try to teach them about sex (use some good reference like Dr.Phil's books) and especially don't answer their questions about sex & porn with meaningless answers like "I don't know" or "Ask your father" because this kind of treatment take them to look for answers outside the educational environment (school & home) so they will try to ask Mr Internet and this one tells them to ask Mr Google; the last one gives them some Useful Commercial Links and and...
So we have to learn how to teach sex in an appropriate way to our kids or students!
Talk to the boys. What they are doing is out of curiosity. I can pretty much bet if they are doing it they have heard from someone at school about the site or ran across it and went WHOA!
Here in this house we talk to the kids about this stuff because:
1. They are going to try it--they are teenage boys (I'm not talking about the 9 and 11 yr old)
2. They are trying to keep up to the buddies.
3. If everyone else is talking about it of course they are going to want to see.
In no way am I saying I condone this because I do not. But I do know that my kids are kids and they will try things.
Thanks, Debby
If I catch my kids surfing porn sites, I will certainly talk to them about the matter. I wouldn't let it pass because things may get worse if I ignore the situation.
First off, at their young age, they're not supposed to be indulging in adult content. I believe that there's a right time and place to introduce sex related subjects to the kids. And the internet, in my opinion, is sometimes not the best teacher especially when it comes to issues regarding sex and adult content.
#1
If this is the case, in my opinion, there's nothing else to do but to talk to them. Explain the disadvantages of doing it. (if there will be advantages, why not?, but i don't think so)..Teens were in their exploring stage..parents should spare some time with their kids talking about it.