10 replies 

AyOuB

Location: Setif, Algeria

Positions: Classroom Teacher Administrator, English Teacher


I need every parent to give his/her opinion on this, because I have a problem with my niece who refuses to go to school those days, I tried to solve the problem but she’ll never tell her uncle HER problems, so I need you to help me in this;

Thanks;

C.A

 

 

#1

Chuck

Location: Philippines

Positions: Parent, Classroom Teacher


When a nephew of mine had a problem within the family, he sped going to school. He just wanted to play with his neighborhood playmates. He’s in grade 1 and his teachers say that he is an intelligent kid. The problem is, he doesn’t want to go to school.

I asked his parents what they do to motivate him to go back to school. They said they just let him play as long as he wanted. Then when he wants to return to school then they would be thankful.

I think as parents we should have a stricter policy regarding this with our kids. But every situation is different so you have to know really what your niece’s main reason for not going to school. Try talking to her teachers or classmates if she doesnt want to tell you what her problem is. Then, you can address the problem.


 

~~~a stone is not carved by force but by constant friction~~~


#2

zemlene

Location: philippines

Position: Classroom Teacher


What you have to do here is to know the main reason of this issue.

Once my nephew don’t like to go to school anymore because he was absent for almost two weeks from school. He was sick for days that’s why we need to let him stay at home for days. then after the first day of going back to school, he doesn’t want to go back the following day. He even cried hard when we forced him to get dressed for school.

What we did is we talked to her teacher to what really happened on that day of school. We found out that he was bullied with his classmates about his absents for several days. We told the teacher to accommodate him more and talk to him about school. We also give him more encouragement that school is nice that having left at home without no one to play with. Since he is an only child, he only plays alone with his toys and talk with adults like us. Thus, having around with kids as old as him makes him excited.

In first week, it was really hard to build his confidence again but when they knew that someone is behind him. He will be himself again.


#3

vanessa_cruz0615

Location: Philippines


I remember the days when I was a kid and refuses to go to school. The reason was- I feel alone,I feel away from my mom…that’s it. But when my mom and dad talked to me and explained the importance of going to school and I need to gain friends as well, at that young age, I realized that I really need to go to school. Just explain to her the importance of going to school, the advantages, …then I’m sure your niece will realize it too like me.


#4

AyOuB

Location: Setif, Algeria

Positions: Classroom Teacher Administrator, English Teacher


Thanks every one;

Deb-she is 14, can you help?


#5

Debby-6-Kids

Location: Rhode Island, USA

Position: Parent


Ayoub, that is a tough age for girls. That is about the time my girls both went through issues about going to school. With the peer pressure and the keeping up of grades and on it goes on and on. Being at this age just trying to figure out the issue takes so much. Is she constantly complaining she isn’t feeling well? That is one of signs of school related stress. Is she complaining of being sick on school mornings and okay on the weekends and weeknights? I do know from experience that forcing the issue is not going to work.


 

Thanks, Debby


#6

AyOuB

Location: Setif, Algeria

Positions: Classroom Teacher Administrator, English Teacher


She refuses to say any thing about why? what? I don’t know what to do!


#7

keith at ela

Location: England UK and Philippines

Positions: Parent, Classroom Teacher Boy who could not read


Hi there Ayoub

There are a number of reasons why a child will not want to go to school. The main reason is usually because they are getting bullied, this does not necessarily need to be physical bullying. You say it is your nice and she is 14 years old. Well her class mates could be the cause of her problem, Girls can be horrible creatures sometimes with the mental bullying they can submit others to. They could be teasing her about many things: her hair, her cloths, the way she walks or talks. You must approach this very sensitively.

Another reason could be an insensitive teacher who maybe insists she reads aloud in the class knowing full well she finds this difficult or embarrassing or many other insensitive thing bad teachers can do to kill the desire of a child to go to school. Again you must approach this with caution,

Another reason I have found is when there are mixed religions. Some religions can be very intolerant to others, to the point of being hurtful and spiteful, if this is the case, it must be stamped out immediately. Religious intolerance is an insult to God, however you think him to be.

This of course could just be because she has started going through puberty. A big life changing problem for sum teenagers

A very serious reason for a sudden change in the way a child behaves could be abuse, in the home, by a family friend or relative or at the school. I pray to God it is not this reason.

School years must be happy years for all children. Do approach this with care because you can do more harm than good if you go about it wrong.

Good luck

Keith


 

Keithatela

#8

Kayla

Location: RI, USa

Position: Eldest sister to Debby-6-Kids’ children


If your niece continually will not go to school, I suggest having somebody professional talk to her. What a lot of parents don’t realize is that when kids are refusing to go to school there’s usually a much, much larger problem underneath. It may be something simply fixed like bullying, or she may be suffering from anxiety and/or other problems that will greatly affect her. I wouldn’t physically force her to go to school because that may make the problem worse. Instead, focus your efforts on understanding WHY she doesn’t want to go, instead of that she simply won’t.

#9

AyOuB

Location: Setif, Algeria

Positions: Classroom Teacher Administrator, English Teacher


Thanks Kayla I’ll try all your advices to solve this problem, I only need to know what you meant by a professional? do you meen a shrink or just someone w/ experience (did this before).

Thanks;

C.A


#10

Kayla

Location: RI, USa

Position: Eldest sister to Debby-6-Kids’ children


Ayoubmarket,

It may not be serious enough to warrant taking her to a therapist, but maybe just having her talk to her school guidance counselor could help her get to the bottom of why she doesn’t want to go to school. It may just be the normal hormonal teenage girl thing, or it could be something serious. There are a lot of teenage boys and girls out there that truly suffer from anxiety disorders and school phobias that seem to come out of the blue in the middle and high school years!

It’s true that even teenagers can suffer from severe separation anxiety.

Somebody that she views as non-authoritative towards her may also help (like an adult that’s close to her, or her best friend)because she may be more willing to open up to them.

I hope I helped!

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